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10 Funny Short Wedding Quotes (Just for the Bride)

These short wedding quotes are sure to raise a smile or two on the Bride’s big day…

short wedding quotes for the bride

Brides all need a good laugh the closer it gets to the wedding day. As much as they’d like to oversee their wedding 24/7, they still want some time to think about other things that are non-wedding related. They need a break from the topic of wedding invitations, seat plans, wedding playlists, and bridal entourage drama.

The great thing about being the bride is that you call the shots. If you want to take a breather from all the wedding preps, you can just say the word and the wedding planners will gladly take over.

You can send a group text to your maid of honor and bridesmaids and they will whisk you away for a quick getaway.

If you’re looking for something quicker and hassle-free, you can just kick off your heels, sit back, and relax. Browse through this selection of short quotes for the bride on her wedding day and her life post-wedding.

Laughter is still the best medicine and the quickest-acting stress relief!

I promise to honor you, cherish you, respect you, support you, and love you. Most importantly, I promise to make sure that I’m not just screaming at you because I’m hungry.

When husbands and wives fall into the routine of married life, it can be quite hilarious.

Things that you never noticed about your husband when you were just dating or when you were just engaged will now be all that you notice, and it will fill you with equal parts amusement and annoyance.

Why does he not see the droplets of pee that he leaves behind whenever he uses the bathroom?

Why is it so hard for him to drop all his dirty clothes in the hamper?

Why does he fart every time you’re snuggled on the couch with him?

Why does he make a simple flu look like a terminal disease?

Why does he always forget to buy milk? 🙂

The questions are endless.

There will be many more quirks and pet peeves that you will discover about each other long after your wedding day. They will come out of the woodwork, and you will start doubting your ability to deal with them.

The good thing about it is that you may not be aware you’re doing these things to annoy each other. The bad thing is you’re stuck with each other for good!

I hope that my actual wedding will be more elegant, magical, and beautiful than my Pinterest wedding.

You have to admit, you have a pretty impressive board you named “Here Comes the Bride” on Pinterest, which you constantly update, depending on anything purple or navy that catches your fancy.

It’s a great way to keep yourself entertained, and it’s a great source of inspiration for ideas for your own wedding. But yes, your Pinterest wedding will still be way more expensive than what you can afford in real life.

That doesn’t mean that your Pinterest wedding will be more special or memorable, because it cannot beat your actual wedding, with actual guests, and an actual groom.

Don’t feel bad if you cannot achieve the look that you’re aiming for in your wedding. The important thing is you’re actually getting married, and you found a wonderful person to do it with.

Don’t focus too much on the material aspects.

How nice or how expensive your wedding is does not really matter in the grand scheme of things. The important thing is that you have a husband to be who adores you, you have your family and friends present to witness your special day, and there’s free-flowing wine and 90’s dance music! So, cheer up!

I promise to believe you when you tell me my hair looks nice, or I look slim in this dress, or you don’t mind waiting while I try a pair of shoes, or I can have the last slice of pizza. I also promise to only be sarcastic when necessary.

Husbands fall into the habit of saying what their wives want to hear to avoid having a fight or prevent a major meltdown.

Wives also develop their own coping mechanisms so that they will not end up frustrated, annoyed, or disappointed with their husbands all the time.

This is because when husbands decide to be annoying, they will do so with all the effort that they can exert. But more often than not, they will do so with hardly any effort.

Pretending that everything’s okay can keep the peace for a while.

But be careful not to build up resentments or displeasure. Just remember that everything can be resolved when you talk about your issues, both big or small, in an honest and straightforward manner.

You have nothing to hide because it’s your husband or your wife that you’re dealing with here. If you can’t tell them the truth because you don’t want to offend them, your marriage will be in peril sooner than you know it!

Annoy the hell out of each other and find a way to work through your issues. Resolve the small problems and the big problems together, and you will be just fine.

To achieve happiness with a man, do a lot of understanding and a lot less loving. To achieve happiness with a woman, love her more than humanly possible and try not to understand her at all.

This will always be the great divide. Women really speak a different language, and so do the men. When a man and woman marry, they are willingly and mutually agreeing to understand the other and love them without question.

Faults, mistakes, inconsistencies, and all. Whatever works and keeps the peace is what will usually win.

People have different languages of love, so the best thing that husbands and wives can do is to demonstrate that love in the way they know. No comparison, no shaming, no judging, and no guilt-tripping. Just pure demonstration of love to please, to reassure, and to settle differences.

You will find that the more you use your language of love on each other, the more natural it will be to tell your husband or your wife what you feel, what you need, or what you want.

You will also realize that it’s easier to know if something is bothering or worrying them. You just need to pay attention. A lot of attention.

Never forget these two powerful sentences that can spell the difference between war and peace. Those are “You’re right, dear” and “Okay, buy it”.

Wives are not that difficult to please. Just give them what they want and they will leave you alone most of the time. But they want a lot of things, most of which cannot be bought with your credit card.

They want you to listen the first time so that they will not end up repeating themselves over and over and end up wasting precious time.

They will keep checking if you’re paying attention. They will keep you reminding and pushing and asking simply because they care, and they don’t want anything bad to happen to you.

Husbands and wives can annoy the hell out of each other on a daily basis, but they do so only out of love and care. Wives, and women in general, nag because they care about your well-being.

The day that they stop nagging is the day that you should start worrying.

I promise to always listen, even when you don’t make sense.

Husbands can sound like they’re speaking in a different language when they get started on topics like Star Wars, Game of Thrones, or Star Trek.

They will stop making sense when they talk about car parts, electrical mumbo jumbo, and other scientific stuff that are better left to Popular Science.

Wives are expected to listen, just as wives expect husbands to listen when they start talking about the benefits of juicing, the wonders of hot yoga, or the shocking season finale of Grey’s Anatomy. It’s a lot of give and take.

Husbands and wives must learn to truly be interested in the interests of the other. If they expect to share a life together for many, many years, they must have a genuine interest on the things that their husbands and wives love.

They don’t have to love it, just know a little something about it to keep conversations going.

Marriage is like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park.

No couple agrees to marry without expecting bad fights, meltdowns, and disagreements. If a husband and wife don’t have anything to disagree or fight about, something must be wrong somewhere.

There will be moments when one or the other will start to question their decision to marry. At one point, someone may even want out.

That’s only normal.

When your husband or wife can no longer get a rise out of you, it means that they already stopped caring and you’re free to do as you please.

But too much fighting is no good, either. It just shows that instead of finding other ways to settle an argument, you just get lazy and launch yourselves into a full-blown fight.

Marriage is a lot of work, and it’s not for the faint of heart. If you’re not ready to be hurt, to be angry, to be challenged, to be jealous and so much more, you’re not ready for marriage.

There will be a lot of internal and external factors that you need to deal with while trying to be the best husband or the best wife. It will be a constant struggle, and it will truly feel like you’re trying to get out of Jurassic Park in one piece.

Marriage is another term for adopting an adult male child who no longer wants to be handled by his parents.

Whether husbands are the most successful, powerful, and richest men in the world, they become like needy babies when they’re around their wives.

Chalk it up to how they love it when their wives take care of them. Wives also like to pamper their men from time to time, and they like the feeling of being needed.

It doesn’t take a lot to make husbands happy. Just keep them fed and give them their creature comforts. They may act like a child every now and then, but you have to admit that it’s one of the things about them that wives love to hate!

Marry the man who gives you the same feeling you feel when you see the waiter with your food coming towards you.

It’s the feeling of longing, desire, excitement, and enthusiasm. It’s having your senses on overdrive. It’s the buildup of anticipation and the release of all that pent-up emotion.

You may not have the perfect marriage or the most blissful married life. But when you find a man that makes you feel all these things, hold him tight and never let him go!

My husband’s wife is pretty incredible, and I’m not even kidding!

Your husband’s wife is hands down the most beautiful, talented, intriguing, generous, and kindhearted person who ever walked this earth. She will charm you with her wit and brilliance, and she will not even bat an eyelash.

Husbands need not have any prodding from their wives to reassure them just how beautiful, smart, and amazing they are. The same can be said for wives about their husbands. Be each other’s biggest fans, and don’t ever let doubt or insecurity take root. That’s the quickest way problems are created.

You can be married to the most incredible, most good-looking, and most amazing person in the world. But they’re still human, and they will fail or disappoint you sooner or later. You can also disappoint your husband whether you like it or not.

Save yourself the drama and let loose. Just enjoy the ride. Marriage is about being who you are. You can make mistakes or look like a fool, but that’s okay. All husbands and wives do, every single day, yet they’re still crazy about each other!

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